It was Friday Afternoon.
I'd been sitting in the Library for just short of 6 hours,
And it was time for me to hit the street corner and clock into CUP of SOUP?
Thing was this -
I wanted to move.
Be wild, fancy, free and Carpe Noctem the Evening in a spectacular kind of way.
I couldn't even explain it to you if I tried.
Felt social like a Butterfly.
And seeing as my 24 Hour Fitness Gym Membership was due to soon expire, thought I'd start the night with a workout -
I was on my way to the gym when I passed by the Movie Theatre,
And saw a Poster that caught my
Wakeful eye -
A SPIKE JONZE LOVE STORY
Figured I'd get my Workout On,
Shower right there at the gym,
Then catch a Motion Pic, all while staying within budget.
I fancied my plan was so bulletproof that not a body would even want to shoot
When it occurred to me
That the Thing was This...
It wasn't Tuesday Night.
It wasn't Wednesday Night.
It was soon to be Friday Night.
No matter whatever Brawn or Might a Cat may Muster,
This Dog was all-too-suddenly not-so-stoked on envisioning myself seated there amidst Theatre Fantasy,
all alone and lonesome...
I shook my head and pep-talked myself:
"Look JB," said we to me, "Sure thing, you got no friends,
But good thing is you got plenty enough us voices inside your head
For your good company, so long as you tend to our whims and needs and keep us pleased..."
"Jeez," said me to we, "And you guys are the best - the Bee's Knees - believe me - I seen, thus mean it -
But upon further listening, yes -
Positively without question -
I'm hearing the Cat's Meow purring my yearning along a sweet and bitter longing for
And that's when I remembered I got a Trump Tower Sister, who 9 times out 10, was equally lonely as me -
"Hey let's catch a movie," texted I, to she.
"Pizza before?" she asked, as though negotiating.
I entered the Theatre, checked the movie times, and calculated a series of ETA's.
"Be ready by 7 and the answer yes."
With that, I bought two movie tickets and jet.
I Was RUNNING!
Like a Gazelle down 5th Avenue,
I was headed for the 24 Hour Fitness on 53rd and Lex,
Figuring I'd get the cardio in on the way to the gym,
Passing the lot of them tourists and New Yorkers
Bogged down with their shopping bags
Bracing the winter winds and watching me fly while thinking like:
"What a numb Sun of a Gun to go blowing by."
By and by, I got the text.
"Ma said no."
I swooped to a stop on a dime,
Picked it up,
Tossed it in a comrade's cup and didn't even bother to ask her why;
Called Ma, straight up.
"Ma, you may have said 'No,' but your son already gone and got the tickets for sis and I..."
Ma said: "So?"
And tho I ever so loved Mama for making me something of an On/Off member of the Fam,
The Fire of Mama's Ire, at times,
Ran hot through the wires
And this was just one of those moments I felt her temper heating up the Phone in hand;
Sometimes it best to leave well alone.
"Well, that's okay, then," I said, "That only means I've got me 'bout 15 minutes to find a girl on 5th Ave."
I texted Trump Sis right then -
"You owe me a Date to a Picture Show."
"I know," she said.
And looking up from the text,
To my left
Walking alongside me was a girl that was +/- 3 years my age,
Dainty and Darling,
Wearing a deep brown fur coat that looked only a bit too big on her.
Initially, I said nothing.
Just kept pace with her, wondering if I was going to ask her,
Knowing I was going to ask her,
Because I had that feeling one sometimes feels right before doing SOMETHING
As opposed to NOTHING.
And so I began...
"Hey, what kind of animal was that?"
Fellas, as far as Pick-Up Lines on 5th Ave are concerned, it don't get better than that.
"Excuse me?" she asked.
"I mean only it looks real," I explained. "It has to be, yes?"
The Young Lady was staring at me
Through some brand of silver-rimmed sunglasses
Of what I presumed to be only the latest in fashion.
"It's real," she said, coolly. "It's sheep."
"Sheep?" I asked, more than a bit confused. "I've never seen a Brown Sheep..."
"They're out there," she affirmed.
But I wasn't so sure.
"I'd like to think so," I said, "But maybe they aren't," I continued,
"Maybe they've all been turned into coats,
And that's why I've never seen a Brown Sheep Before."
"That would be such a shame," she said, holding it close. "It's so warm, you see..."
And golly, me bethought me, this girl had money and style.
"Well, I really can't tell by just looking," I said, "You really ought let me try it on."
"Is this your game?" she asked. "Walking up 5th Ave, trying on Woman's fur coats?"
She cut me down; I cut down to business.
"Believe it or not," I said, "I don't frequent 5th Ave too oft," I added,
"But when I do, I try to make an occasion of it."
I pulled out the tickets to her.
"Was going to see if you wanted to go see a movie with me."
"All prepared, aren't you?"
She was having as much fun with this as I was,
And forgetting I was dressed like I'd just stepped out of Hell's Kitchen
I convinced myself I stood a chance.
"My date bailed on me," I explained, "Naturally, I'm looking for someone new."
She was looking at the two tickets in my hand.
"Such a good movie," she confessed.
"You've seen it?" I asked, and before she answered, added: "So come see it with me again."
"I never go to see the same movie twice."
I blinked a couple times, thinking.
"Must be a 5th Ave thing."
She smiled, correctly.
"Must be," she agreed, and then with a smile, began to turn down the block, "But it was nice talking with you."
And like that, she walked off,
Leaving me walking to the gym in a daydream,
Thinking on how that NYC Cutie seemed Rich in every sense of the word.
Except for that coat...
Right then, I was thinking about turning around to tell her she had to lose that 'Brown Sheep' coat.
Fact was, it looked like it had come straight off the back of a Grizzly Bear like me.
Feeling skinned and skinny, I pumped iron and up and went to catch her.