WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO GIVE YOU A SPECIAL BROADCAST INTERMISSION—
Hello,
My name is Jon Blondyn,
REPORTING LIVE at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week,
Where here at Lincoln Center, NYC
Peacocks and Pimps of all different Flav’s and Styz
Have gathered to shake a Tail Feather with a Spritz of Ritz, a Pish of Posh and Gatz of Glam
And yes,
The Show Must Go On…
Standing here to my right is Xavi Bonzai.
She’s dressed in Giraffe-Tooth Studded Zebra Coat,
Draped over Elephant Seal Pants that sag baggy over her Alligator Boots.
At once, the outfit appears a complete disaster,
Yet the modest touch of the Davy Crocket Coonskin Cap upon that sumptuous head of hers
Somehow brings the gown entirely together
With flair, unfounded.
Estimated Apparel Value: $39,000 and 2 cents.
Xavi, it goes without saying; you look stunning.
Xavi: “Tink Koo.”
Please, just a word for our viewers.
Xavi: “Mi froom Niptoon.”
Neptune. Sometimes I look at Neptune with my Photo Cannon Lens which I happen to have right here. Xavi, do you mind if we take your picture?
Xavi: “Nip.”
Wonderful. (Snap) My. (Snap) Wow, you pose like a Martian caught in a Wild Fire.
Xavi: “Yip.”
Xavi Bonzai, kisses, thank you so much. Hope to hunt you down at the After Party.
OMG. Camera Crew, hustle with me, Hustle with me, HUSTLE!
Folks, just stepping out of her Limousine and walking up the Lincoln Center Steps
Is none other than the Queen of Beauty, herself,
Lambiana Grace,
Whose fleecy delicacy and dainty wile has garnered her so much Razzle Dazzle
That the Flash Photography has made her skin more fair
Than the Snow White Princess she has become.
Crew – here she comes – mount that Photo Cannon Lens on the Tripod…
Lambiana: “Ooo! Don’t Tuzsch Me! Ooo!”
Ready… Aim... Fire!
Lambiana: “Ooo! Don’t Tuzsch Me! Ooo!”
My God, how she Talk the Talk; how she Walk the Walk…
Lambiana: “Ooo! Don’t Tuzsch Me! Ooo!”
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Seeing as nobody, is in fact, touching her,
It appears that Lambiana is making a Public Commentary
On how incredibly sensitized and vulnerable she had become
To the Bright Light Exposure.
“Ooo! OOo! OOO!”
OMG.
OMG.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Lambiana has just dropped…
She is lying motionless across the ground
In a state of what can only be described as: ‘Ecstatic Rigor Mortis.’
It appears the Flash Photography has become too much -
Wait a second…
Yes -
Lambiana has just dissolved into a Perfumed Wisp of Peach Fuzzies!
Look at them taking to the wind!
And the Crowd is going simply wild with applause!
What a Performance!
What a Performance!
An Industry-Changing Motion!
I’ve never seen anything like it...
I’ve never...
I’ve never smelled anything like it...
In fact,
I can hardly believe this…
Let alone confess that I’m about to attest
To sensing the scent of Lambiana Essence inside of me -
Ruppa - Rippa - Rep A - Record Scratch
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Why get your Lenses Off on Benzes
When right here you got the Choicest Rolls Royce in Town?
(Moonwalk. Cool-Jerk. Can-Can)
Just Dance Poetry.
BLONDYN.COM
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