So I bought an acoustic guitar.
A Fender.
Black.
Named her Black Beauty,
After the Horse.
My plan was to take her with me to play for the masses.
I was envisioning a Headline
That read something like -
BLONDYN AND BLACK BEAUTY, LIVE
I was ready for the Thousands
Upon Thousands of City Dwellers
That daily ride the NYC Subway Trains,
Where I'd watched the Musicians and Dancers and Minstrels
Make their living.
I was gonna put a Show on, Mama.
I was gonna sing and strum my Heart out, Mama.
I was gonna do my thing like the Original Rock ‘N Rollers
Who started out acoustic
Till they had enough Gusto and Gumpf in their Cup to go Electric.
Back in the day I had played guitar,
So it wasn’t like I had a learning curve
Set against me.
And though my voice wasn’t nothin’ special,
I could write up a song that was meaner that string beans.
So in early December,
Right around when the Christmas Songs started overtaking Airplay
- Before I’d spent all my Whole Foods Market Earnings -
Black Beauty and I formed one those special kinds of bonds
And got to harmonizing mono y mono.
Like always, the days passed fast.
And though there wasn’t any Whole Foods Market to jam my schedule –
(Still love Whole Foods Market) -
My days were booked like an unpaid professional.
Mornings I’d be on my CPU, editing OS,
Around Noon I'd be into the Fitness
And somewhere across the afternoon I’d be at my Locker,
Where I’d strap in and sing out with my toe tapping to the rhythm.
On January 10th, with less than $100.00 to my name
I started my day at Whole Foods Market to buy my apples and oats
With plans to do but a brief writing session before I took my Tour public.
I had three songs worked out -
Good songs, wrought of Iron and Magic and whatever else
Makes for a Sound Recipe, Heavy as Honey.
To prove it to you,
Here’s one of the tracks that I wrote,
And even spent some of my last savings on for Copyright Protection.
OOO DA COO
Check the Weather…
Rhythm and Blues ~
Take my Temperature…
Makin’ Da News ~
Fresh Off the Highway…
Dust Hot On My Boots ~
Looking For Love…
A Tree With Roots ~
OOO…
It Do Seem You Cute ~
BOO...
Do You OOO DA COO?
OOO...
DO YOU OOO DA COO ~
OOO…
GOT TO OOO DA COO ~
Hit the Guitar…
Rodeo Style ~
Forget Who You Are…
After a While ~
Raise Your Champagne Glass…
A Toast To Your Smile ~
Some Medicine, Sugar…
To Turn Up the Dial ~
O Mama…
The Stars OUT OF CONTROL ~
O Mama…
The Sun ROCKIN’ DA ROLL ~
OOO…
CHECK DA OOO DA COO ~
OOO…
COME GET’CHA OOO DA COO ~
Catchin’ a Train Out Town…
By the Evening ~
Lookin’ Around For the One…
Wit’ Whom I Leavin’ ~
Honey Dressed For Success…
Yes, Honey Succeeding ~
But Looks Like Those…
Ought To Be Deceiving ~
BOO…
I got Attraction, too~
CHOO…
CHOO-CHOO TRAIN—Comin’ Through ~
OOO…
OOO DA COO ~
CHOO-CHOO…
OOO DA COO ~
Hot, right?
And sitting in Whole Foods Market there,
I was excited and eager to share my tunes with the world.
As usual, it wasn’t just about making a Day’s Wage.
Though I’ve always been partial to the shy-side of the personality spectrum,
For as long as I can remember,
An integral part of my nature has been to create and share and do so Loud.
OS is Free…
…And thinking on how I had to get a move on with my morning,
I pulled my laptop out my pack
Flipped my Toshiba Netbook 505 open and fired it on...
And then my PC turned off…
I was just sitting there and staring @ the blank computer screen
Positively confused –
Tentatively denying what had just taken place.
I pressed the Power button again,
Watched Windows start to load up,
When suddenly the screen goes all colorful as though it’d been hit with a major dose of acid.
"What the..."
And then it turned off, again.
“No…”
I turned it on again just for Heaven’s Sake but the outcome was the same.
I was good about backing up my Hard Drive regularly and hence,
The loss of information was not The Issue of #1 Concern.
The Issue of #1 Concern was that the progress of my Novel
Had been abruptly suspended until future notice.
So there I sat, wondering exactly how much guitar I would have to play
In order meet the Requirements of Survival,
And buy a new computer.
I better get the show on the road and right away,
Figured I,
And so right away,
To my Locker,
I rushed to grab up Black Beauty and head for 42nd Street,
Where I paid the $2.50 Fare to get on Subway Stage and get ready.
I did a quick sound check,
You know,
Tune Up,
Say: ‘Fa-So-La-Ti-Doe…’ till the vocal chords were warmy and jazzed.
Last but not least,
I opened my wallet and carefully placed a single
2 Dollar Bill right there inside my hard-cover guitar case,
Just to let the people know I was open to accepting
Optimum Wage
Just in case I were looking pretty.
And with that, I began to play.
And play I did,
And sure enough,
The audience kept coming
And going…
Naturally,
From Point A to B of their Transportation Desire,
While on occasion, noticing myself somewhere in between.
Sigh.
It was a long day.
I don’t know exactly how long I was in those Subway Tunnels,
Moving from station, to station, to station;
In Monetary Terms, I was in there for .94 Cents.
It wasn’t Black Beauty’s fault.
The vocals, too, I thought, were spot on cue.
Rather, it appeared to be just another slight miscalculation
Of my Imagination,
Which had, in fact, formerly painted a very real picture of me doing my Song and Dance
While people waited for the Train,
Attentively listening.
.94 Cents.
And that wasn’t even the worst of it!
On two separate occasions,
2 guys walked by and had the nerve to ask -
Mid-Performance, mind you -
If they could trade/buy my 2 Dollar Bill off of me.
Supposedly no longer being printed at the Mint,
The 2 Dollar Federal Reserve Note is rumored to be something of a Collector’s Item.
While the first guy offered two singles for it,
The second guy offered to pay more.
I told both of these Wanna-Be-Investor Jokers to beat it,
And then carried on with my song.
I’d only had enough when a cute little girl
Got out from one of the Subway Trains,
Walking carefully aside her Mama -
A bright and shiny penny in hand,
Which she was holding up in the air towards me.
Her Mama was looking on as I asked:
“Is that a Lucky Penny?”
Little Girl nodded her head,
Slowly, but surely, walking closer to me,
Still holding it above her head.
“Okay, then…” I said, nodding to the guitar case, “You can put it in.”
Little did I know that this was Her Lucky Penny.
And ever so politely,
She walked right along,
And away;
Her Mama,
Not doing so well a job at holding back her laughter
While I’m standing there trying hard to figure out
What on Earth could be less funny.
And so to the tune of worn brakes screeching over the steel rails,
I joined the rest of the Real World that used the Trains in order
To get from Point A to B,
And took my Concert back to the Locker Room
With a New Point of View -
The Subway Ain’t No Venue.
And once again, it was time for Strategy Anew…
BLONDYN.COM
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